my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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