One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
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My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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