Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize