Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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