My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
