i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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