We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
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i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
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Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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