She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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