i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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