What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
