Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize