i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
