did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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