so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
