I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
only you would photoshop your dick
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
