I puked a lego.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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