We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
