i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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