He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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