its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
