I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
