Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize