dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
