East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize