I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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