Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
