THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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