i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i think i have herpe
just one?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
