I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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