Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm really busy with my period
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