Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
