TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
