Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band

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(214): I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band http://tfl.nu/l50n

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(602): View more from Arizona

dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.

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(602): dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese. http://tfl.nu/mk7p

Replies (30) Good night (4267) Bad night (997)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

bring money and cleavage

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(978): bring money and cleavage http://tfl.nu/w9ou

Replies (20) Good night (5919) Bad night (745) Order T-Shirt
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(206): View more from Washington

She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.

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(206): She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again. http://tfl.nu/x87e

Replies (45) Good night (1779) Bad night (5555) Order T-Shirt
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(415): View more from California

Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.

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(415): Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only. http://tfl.nu/ffub

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(289): View more from Ontario

The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.

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(289): The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight. http://tfl.nu/z22w

Replies (5) Good night (6798) Bad night (812)
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(812): View more from Indiana

He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.

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(812): He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/zftg

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(712): View more from Iowa

Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.

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(712): Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS. http://tfl.nu/utzb

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss

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(412): Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss http://tfl.nu/99ou

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(361): View more from Texas

Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.

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(361): Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin. http://tfl.nu/3skp

Replies (2) Good night (1746) Bad night (951) Order T-Shirt
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(+64): View more from New Zealand

Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.

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(+64): Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking. http://tfl.nu/52no

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(845): View more from New York

She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.

(1-845): View more from New York

she is way to in-touch with her childhood

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(845): She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside. (1-845): she is way to in-touch with her childhood http://tfl.nu/m5xk

Replies (11) Good night (2105) Bad night (1017)
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(905): View more from Ontario

I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.

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(905): I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do. http://tfl.nu/nqbr

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(325): View more from Texas

I fcuked ip.

(214): View more from Texas

Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?

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(325): I fcuked ip. (214): Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge? http://tfl.nu/167p

Replies (2) Good night (1375) Bad night (467)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.

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(203): Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off. http://tfl.nu/jh7m

Replies (5) Good night (227) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt

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