Texts From Last Night

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  (315): View more from New York

  he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out

  (607): View more from New York

  what a beautiful fairy tale

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  (315): he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out (607): what a beautiful fairy tale http://tfl.nu/50v3
  Replies (33) Good night (11032) Bad night (1005)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.

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  (615): He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat. http://tfl.nu/bfbd
  Replies (30) Good night (875) Bad night (4373)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem

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  (704): the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem http://tfl.nu/ycgy
  Replies (10) Good night (4066) Bad night (787)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.

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  (908): Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain. http://tfl.nu/ncmc
  Replies (9) Good night (4628) Bad night (1069)
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  (458): View more from Oregon

  I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.

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  (458): I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me. http://tfl.nu/ja3o
  Replies (19) Good night (1215) Bad night (5490)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.

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  (717): he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys. http://tfl.nu/b5qg
  Replies (9) Good night (4959) Bad night (932)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?

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  (217): If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping? http://tfl.nu/vdup
  Replies (5) Good night (2177) Bad night (690)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.

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  (513): I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass. http://tfl.nu/kvfi
  Replies (15) Good night (3122) Bad night (1110)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.

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  (317): The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures. http://tfl.nu/juvj
  Replies (8) Good night (2858) Bad night (647)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.

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  (405): No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm. http://tfl.nu/8gfx
  Replies (4) Good night (2171) Bad night (778)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.

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  (920): I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad. http://tfl.nu/b7v4
  Replies (5) Good night (627) Bad night (489)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?

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  (913): I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box? http://tfl.nu/v8k1
  Replies (3) Good night (350) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.

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  (404): Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night. http://tfl.nu/g1sg
  Replies (2) Good night (519) Bad night (371)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra

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  (425): Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra http://tfl.nu/b4si
  Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.

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  (253): There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto. http://tfl.nu/3oah
  Replies (0) Good night (421) Bad night (246)

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