why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher