You made me cry and you don't even care
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Acid is not a monday night drug
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...