I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
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I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
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I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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