Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
