dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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