So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
