I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
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... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
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Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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