All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
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I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
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I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
These tits shall not be calmed
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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