I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
