Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
