whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We just shotgunned beers for America
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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