Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
