Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
