then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
