I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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