I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
