But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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