I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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