you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
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What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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