HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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