If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
