When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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