You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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