So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
