dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
