so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
