watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
