Sponge bath it is.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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