Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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